Chapter 01 - Chief Monou's proposal
"Sanezawa-kun, I want to know what's going on."
Monou-san stared at me with a stern look.
This is the workplace of the business department.
Although the room was quiet, the atmosphere was tense due to her stern reprimand.
"Your sales for this month haven't even reached half."
After saying that, she handed me the attendance chart on the wall to look at.
There were many horizontal bar charts lined up.
Only mine was significantly lower.
"The time when big publishers could easily sell books without doing anything is long gone. Now a days, the variety of entertainment activities is increasing. If our company doesn't think of ways to sell books, no one will come to buy them."
My supervisor scolds me.
"I am truly, sincerely sorry..."
I couldn't help but bow my head and apologize.
"I tried my best, but who would have thought that things would turn out contrary to my intentions..."
"You're not a student anymore, so there's no need for others to judge how much effort you put in."
A loud sound echoed. (Slamming sound on the table, something like that)
Those words, though true, felt heavy, as if they were stabbing deep into my gut.
I- looked at her again.
She had gorgeous black hair and piercing eyes. Actually, her look wasn't terrifying, but the pressure and seriousness in those eyes were enough to make others worry.
She is recognized as a beautiful woman, and her figure is also very well proportioned. Even when she's wearing a work uniform, it's impossible to hide those ample breasts. When she reprimanded me, I was almost hypnotized by the sight of them, but luckily I managed to keep my composure.
"You've been with the company for two years now, so recognize yourself as an employee of the company and work seriously."
Monou-san said, then turned around and walked straight ahead.
"Sigh."
I let out a sigh of relief after releasing the pressure.
I don't have much interest in anything anymore.
"Chief Monou~"
Just as she stepped out of the business section, a female employee came to greet her.
This girl is my colleague - Kanomata Miku.
We both belong to the Business Department, but we are in different sections.
"Eh, the department head told me I have to play golf this weekend... And I also have to entertain clients... And even stay overnight..."
She complained in a whiny voice.
Monou-san frowned, obviously unhappy.
"...I'll help you refuse the department head's request."
"Thank you very much!"
"This is the department head's mistake. But you must stand your ground, showing any sign of weakness will only make others look down on you."
"I understand."
Kanomata nodded softly while Monou-san walked comfortably out of the business department.
"...Sigh."
I let out a sigh and returned to my seat.
"Sanezawa, you're being scolded again."
The colleague sitting next to me - Kutsuwa Shogo - smiled and said.
"There is no other way. I'll just take it as my own doing and put up with it."
"Our 'Queen' of the business department is still as scary as ever, nothing has changed."
Kutsuwa shrugged and spoke.
It's because that person isn't here that he can speak so openly...
Monou Yuiko.
Holds the position of the head of the department.
She is the most beautiful woman in this company, and she looks amazing in high-end suits.
For me, she is both my superior and someone who has helped me a lot since I joined the company.
As for her age, I heard she's already 32.
Apart from her, there is no one in the company who has been promoted to the position of "Department Head" at such a young age of just 32. In general, she is excellent at her job. In fact, when she first took the position, she earned the title of "Outstanding Employee of the Company.
So there's no need for further discussion, she's excellent at her job.
She is also known to be strict with others, whether they are superiors or subordinates.
People in the company admire her, and sometimes someone even calls her "the queen.
As for me... I'm just an ordinary employee who has been working for two years and who is regularly criticized by that "queen".
My name is Sanezawa Haruhiko.
Just an ordinary 23-year-old man with nothing remarkable about him.
"Maruyama Company"
One of the largest publishers in Japan today.
Novels, manga, picture books, light novels, business books, weight loss books... If it's a book, our company will publish it.
As a recent graduate, I had to work very hard to get a job in such a big company.
Speaking of working in a publishing house,
"So you're an editor. What kind of books do you usually work on?"
A lot of people ask questions like that. Mainly because most people think that a publishing company is a company that literally produces and publishes books.
Of course, there are many other jobs within a publishing company, not just editors.
Business is one of them.
Our job in the business department is to attract as many readers as possible to enjoy the heartfelt works created by authors and editors.
Even though we may not be noticed by the readers, it is still an interesting and proud job.
The people in the business department are also proud of their work -
"Sigh. Who would continue to do this business job?"
"Well, maybe not."
It's lunchtime.
I step out of the office with my colleague, Kutsuwa, to prepare for lunch. As the elevator descends halfway, Kutsuwa suddenly sighs and says:
"I really want to work in the editorial department and be involved in book production."
"Kutsuwa, you want to work in the editorial office?"
"Exactly. No one wants to come to a publishing company just to do business, right?"
Maybe... that's not an unreasonable statement.
Most people who join a publishing company want to work in editorial.
Perhaps the hottest position in a publishing company is still working on books.
But not everyone who comes out of school gets to work in the position they want. Instead, they may be assigned to the business department or other departments based on HR decisions.
Although they are assigned to the business department, many people are not willing to give up and continue to ask their superiors to transfer them to the editorial department.
However, not everyone can find a job in the editorial department.
Recently, there have been cases of people who were transferred from the business department to the editorial department, but they had to work in the business department for 10 years and put in a lot of effort to get the job they wanted.
"Sanezawa, aren't you in the same situation?"
"Well..."
After thinking for a while, I replied:
"...I have no intention of changing jobs right now, and I'm not skilled enough to choose my own job. So I'm just going to focus on being good at my current job."
"Hey, are you still as outstanding and intelligent as before?"
Kutsuwa joked.
"Even if I am, those idiots in the personnel department won't let me transfer to the editorial department. Do I have to excel in the business department to get a chance?"
"The business department wouldn't let people like that go anywhere. And don't ask me."
"Well, then I won't pay much attention to working in the business department. I'll just submit some trivial reports to get by."
"How can the company allow people like that to do the jobs they want?"
"That's true. But I don't understand either, so why do I keep thinking about this problem? I don't know what to do to get the job I want."
Kutsuwa scratched his head, deep in thought.
Not getting the desired position.
This is a concern that most working people have.
What to do about it, someone like me with only two years of experience in the company can't possibly know.
At that moment,
"Uh-"
Just as we got off the elevator, someone came up to us and started talking to us.
"You're Sanezawa from the business department, right?"
Three young female employees looked at me with sparkling eyes.
They all had very unfamiliar faces.
They must be new to the company this year.
"Um... If it's okay, can I exchange contact information with you?"
One of them asked with a determined look.
The other two began to speak as well.
"If possible, would you like to go out to dinner with me next time?"
"Ah, I would like to go too!"
The three female employees approached each other.
In the eyes of others... Perhaps this is a scene worth longing for.
Suddenly, being approached by unknown coworkers, I seemed to be like a famous man being greeted by women.
"It's dangerous." But in my heart there was only such an empty thought.
Sigh.
This situation happened again.
"Uh, I'm really sorry."
When I talked to them, I always tried to be careful not to appear upset.
"You can't get your brother's autograph, and you can't introduce us to soccer players."
"Eh-""
The smiles on the girls' faces immediately disappeared, replaced by a feeling of dissatisfaction.
Even though I exchanged a few words with them, I still politely but firmly refused them, so they left with unhappy expressions.
Kutsuwa, who was standing in a corner watching everything, looked at me with a sympathetic expression.
"You're used to this, right?"
"Well, it's always the same."
I replied, ending the conversation and walking on.
After leaving the company, we went to a restaurant.
Just as we passed a grocery store -
"..."
I saw a large poster taped to the door.
"Never give up on your dreams.
The poster displayed beautifully crafted advertising phrases along with a picture of a professional soccer player.
Sanezawa Haruichiro.
One of the many soccer players representing Japan.
He is a soccer star, a talented striker who scores goals in matches. He currently plays for a J1 team and has represented Japan in the World Cup.
In fact, he is also the older brother of Sanezawa Haruhiko, which is me.
I'm just an ordinary person in society. If there's anything special about me... it's probably just having an older brother who's a famous soccer player.
"Is that why?" Kutsuwa asked after we entered our usual restaurant and sat across from me.
We both ordered udon noodles.
"Do you feel insecure thinking about your older brother?"
"Don't ask so directly."
Yes, but I am actually grateful for it.
After all, worrying only leads to exhaustion.
"That's right," I said.
"When I was in school, I had already dealt with those annoying things."
Then I smiled and spoke comfortably.
Maybe I can really smile now.
Suddenly I remembered the past.
Elementary school, middle school, high school, college. I devoted my entire youth to the black and white ball, but no matter how hard I chased after it, I couldn't catch up with its image. That's why I always felt anxious and sad. Uncertainty and humiliation remained in my mind and made me feel nauseous. Then one day, a sharp "crack" sound pierced through, something hit my right leg, causing unimaginable pain. I had to undergo surgery and my knee was immobilized in a cast. During the recovery process, every step I took felt like a step into hell, and fear filled my mind. Despair, decline, frustration, letting go of everything...
Awakening from these memories, I realized that I had unconsciously touched my right knee.
...
It's okay now.
I'm not in pain anymore.
Both physically and mentally, I am no longer in pain.
I am no longer holding the soccer ball, and I am truly happy for my brother's success.
In fact, I have grown up.
A normal adult knows his place and limits, and lives a life that suits him.
"A normal person should just strive for a normal life," I said firmly, finishing the rest of the udon noodles.
"Yes, indeed, working for a living is also a noble job," Kutsuwa agreed.
"And you should try your best, don't let the head of the department criticize you anymore."
"I understand."
After replenishing our energy with lunch, we returned to the company building.
Looking around the company, I noticed that many people were dressed very casually, making it hard to believe that this was a large company. There were also a few people wearing sports clothes, button-down shirts or sweaters, and some looked disheveled, as if they hadn't been home for days.
On the other hand... eh, those must be the people from the editorial department.
The Business Department was dressed in suits and office uniforms. On the other hand, many people in the editorial department were dressed in simple clothes.
Almost all the people I met in the editorial department... they always looked tired and worn out.
That's when I realized that publishing and bookmaking were high-pressure jobs.
Even though Kutsuwa had mentioned that he wanted to transfer to the editorial department... when I saw them working so hard, I didn't want to emulate Kutsuwa's attitude anymore. Every time I saw my colleagues in the editorial department fulfilling their ambitions... they seemed to have visibly lost weight.
"Oh, by the way..."
After returning to the business department, Kutsuwa suddenly spoke to me.
"I noticed that Manager Monou is very strict with you."
"..."
"Since the training for new employees, it seems like you, Sanezawa, have always attracted her attention, right?"
"Yes... Every time she gives me instructions, Manager Monou is very strict."
Last year, when I was still a new employee, Manager Monou took the responsibility of guiding me.
Normally, this wouldn't be a job for a manager, but at that time, someone in the business department happened to quit and be transferred, which made the HR workload very heavy. So Manager Monou conveniently became the one to guide me as well.
"You look like her favorite student. She seems to really like you."
"What are you joking about? If the person I guide didn't have good results, I would feel frustrated, too."
Speaking of which, I also felt quite confused.
However, Manager Monou wouldn't get angry unless she wanted to.
"I feel that she is someone who is passionate about her work. And she seems to be single, right?"
"Seems like it."
I haven't heard anything about her getting married.
As for a boyfriend... I don't think she has one.
"Well, it's no different than looking at work as a lover. Sigh, no matter how beautiful she is, if she's so rigid, men won't want to invite her out."
He laughed gleefully while speaking ill of Monou-san behind her back, as if he could only say it now.
Well, it's normal for employees to gossip about their superiors.
It allows the low-ranking employees to talk and interact with each other more. Moreover, after being scolded, they would politely apologize in front of others, but behind their backs, they would badmouth their superiors and complain to their colleagues. I think only those who are smart in the company can do such things.
However...
"Actually, I like Manager Monou a lot."
I said.
Kutsuwa's eyes widened in surprise.
"A... Ah, do you really mean that? How does it feel? So you've always liked someone older than you from the beginning?"
"No, that's not what I meant..."
Manager Monou is indeed a very strict person.
I can't even remember how many times she scolded me when I was a new employee, and even now she's as strict as ever.
But... her way of handling things is very balanced.
When she speaks, she always thinks very clearly, and she has never made unreasonable demands. It's because she sees me as a member of the company that I can feel her encouragement towards me.
Of course, the Queen is strict, but she is not a tyrant who oppresses her people and enjoys her power. Instead, she uses her strong will and severity to guide her people in the right direction... Perhaps she is a king-like figure.
"As an employee of the company, I respect her a lot.
Only 32 years old and already promoted to manager.
She works very hard and everyone around her admires her.
I see her as someone outstanding, someone perfect.
I also want to grow up and be independent like her.
"Well, I understand. It must be because of her breasts, right? You must have noticed her ample breasts."
Kutsuwa said happily.
Come on, can you really listen to me?
"Hey, looking at breasts to choose women is not a good thing, right?"
"...But I have to admit that the manager's breasts are impressive."
Just as I finished saying that - right at that moment.
"Eh."
Suddenly.
Just as I turned in another direction, I unexpectedly saw that familiar designer suit.
What a coincidence, just as I mentioned Manager Monou, I bumped into her.
"M... Manager Monou!?"
I stood up quickly.
Suddenly, I felt sweat pouring down my back like a waterfall.
This is bad.
She didn't hear what I just said, did she?
"No, that's not it. Actually, it was him-oh, where did he go?"
As I explained and looked to the side, I immediately fell silent.
Kutsuwa was nowhere in sight.
It seems that when I was so frightened that I froze, he slipped away somewhere.
This guy is really cunning to the point that it makes me angry.
"Uh... Uh... Well..."
"Why do you look so scared?"
I didn't know what to say. Manager Monou asked in surprise.
Huh?
She... didn't hear what I said before?
"Eh, it's nothing."
Thank God, but it was also dangerous. My words before were no different from sexual harassment. If she heard them, she would probably feel very uncomfortable.
Just as I breathed a sigh of relief,
"...I sincerely apologize for treating you like that just now."
Manager Monou bowed slightly to me.
"Huh?"
"I shouldn't have shown my anger towards you like that in front of others. I should have called you privately to discuss your performance... It would have been better that way."
"Manager Monou..."
"Even though your performance was not impressive."
"Eh..."
Although Manager Monou looks remorseful, her teasing tone hasn't changed during our conversation.
Sigh, I'm out of options.
With my performance this month, I have no right to complain.
"It's okay. My performance was not good, so it's normal to be reminded of it.
I said this after regaining my composure.
"I'm the one who should apologize. I'll think of a way to improve the situation. I hope I can receive your praise next time, Manager Monou."
"That's good to hear."
"Yes."
"And you even say that you want my praise. It makes me feel like your motivation is a bit strange."
"Eh, about that, it's just a goal I recently set for myself... Hahaha."
"You really..."
I forced a laugh. Manager Monou smiled as well.
This woman rarely laughs in front of others, but that doesn't mean she never laughs.
The calm atmosphere I usually feel returned as I was about to return to the office.
"Sanezawa-kun, I have something to tell you," Monou-san said suddenly. Her tone was quite serious, and then she seemed determined.
"Are you free tonight?"
After working hours ended--
I was taken to an Izakaya. This place is located a bit away from the busy commercial area. There are no colorful food signs outside, just the name of the izakaya written in very ordinary characters.
This izakaya is different from the cheap ones I occasionally visit. It is beautifully decorated and looks really luxurious.
"I'm Monou, I made a reservation."
"We've been waiting for you."
Monou-san seems quite familiar with this place. Guided by the staff, we went further into the izakaya. After being led into a rather large room, Monou-san hung her coat on the coat rack and said, "Are you okay? Are you comfortable?"
"No... I'm just a little tense. Monou-san, I didn't expect you to come to such wonderful places to drink."
"I rarely come to places like this either. It's just that a customer brought me here once."
After we sat for a while, a plate of appetizers was brought out. We took our seats and ordered drinks.
"I want whisky mixed with soda. How about you, Sanezawa-kun?"
"I'll have the same."
"You don't have to order the same as me. If you can't drink alcohol, you can choose a soft drink instead."
"No, it's fine. I don't mind. Because I also like whiskey mixed with soda."
After placing our orders, the staff left. I also felt a little more comfortable.
"I didn't expect... Manager Monou would take the initiative to invite me for a drink."
"To be honest, I'm not really fond of socializing and drinking," Monou-san let out a soft sigh.
"In the past, I often refused invitations from superiors out of hand."
"Hahaha."
"This is the first time I invited a junior colleague out for a drink."
"... Eh."
She was casually expressing her thoughts. Every word she said made me feel quite excited.
What does that mean? Could she have an ulterior motive? Maybe she's just telling the truth? If that's the case, why would she invite a low-ranking employee like me?
While I was thinking, our drinks were served. Each of us received two glasses of whiskey mixed with soda.
"You've worked hard."
"You... you've worked hard too."
Then we clinked glasses.
It had been almost an hour since we'd started drinking.
"So the publishing industry must always seriously consider and explore how to 'sell' the most books. The publishing environment is changing rapidly every day. But many people in leadership positions still believe that 'as long as we produce good books, they will sell', that kind of thinking is too mechanical," Monou-san spoke passionately.
We were a bit tense at first, but perhaps due to the influence of alcohol, we were able to chat comfortably even though only an hour had passed.
Monou-san has already reached her second glass, but she doesn't drink too fast.
Maybe her alcohol tolerance isn't that high.
Her face is flushed and she looks more seductive than usual.
"Anyone can invest in promoting a popular book, so we have to work closely with the editorial team from the very beginning..."
"I'm really sorry. Talking about work like that must be boring."
"Not at all, I think it's very much in line with the attitude of a department head."
At first I wanted to praise her.
I wanted to say, "I really respect your enthusiasm for your work.
But,
"Huh..."
Monou-san pouted and seemed annoyed.
"What... Do you think I'm a very boring woman who can't do anything but work?"
"Eh...? No, that's not what I meant..."
It's not going well.
She completely misunderstood the intention behind those words.
"If you want to talk about cheerful topics, especially ones that go well with drinking, then actually... I can do it."
After saying that, Monou-san took a sip and finished her whisky mixed with soda.
A clinking sound echoed as she put the glass down on the table, and then,
"Sanezawa-kun... Do you have a girlfriend?"
Monou-san asked.
It seemed like she was having trouble bringing it up.
Why did the topic suddenly become normal!
"Eh, about that..."
"Do you or don't you?"
She looked at me intently.
"No, I don't."
I immediately thought about everything, but my thoughts became a mess, and I blurted out the truth.
"Also... I've never had a girlfriend. Hahaha."
"Is that so."
Monou-san seemed surprised.
It's no use. I shouldn't have mentioned things from the past... It would have been better to say, "Now? I still haven't," then there would have been some hope.
"That's hard to believe... Sanezawa-kun, it's a shame you're always so popular."
"Oh, someone like me wouldn't be able to do that. I always feel like something is missing, so I haven't had any romantic encounters."
"Well, could it be that you..."
Monou-san said.
Then she leaned forward slightly.
"-are inexperienced?"
"!?"
I almost spat everything out.
Inexperienced.
I never thought that this strict boss would say that.
Maybe it's the alcohol.
"Yes, yes, that's right. It's embarrassing to admit it."
"Yeah..."
Monou-san stared at me intently without blinking.
Peanuts, this is too much. I am so embarrassed.
"Have you ever been to these hotels?"
"Someone suggested I try it once... But, but I'm really scared..."
"Eh... It seems like you have an obsession with cleanliness. I... I also feel really good when I maintain my own cleanliness."
"Eh, it's just that I'm too scared... Hahaha."
"..."
"..."
The room suddenly filled with indescribable embarrassment.
Just as I was about to die of embarrassment-
"...I'm really, really sorry!"
Suddenly, Monou-san bowed deeply.
"Eh!?"
"I... I said something I shouldn't have, even if we're drinking, I shouldn't ask my subordinate such questions... It's no different from sexual harassment... Anyway, men and women are equal these days."
"I... It's okay. You don't have to worry about it."
"But..."
Monou-san continued to look confused and genuinely remorseful.
I also felt a little guilty seeing her expression.
I said it's okay. How can I put it... Oh, that kind of sexual harassment that makes the other person unhappy, that's called sexual harassment.
I tried to defuse the situation.
"Even though Manager Monou called me inexperienced, I don't mind."
"..."
"To be honest... I actually find it more pleasant... Huh? Oh no, that's not what I meant..."
Huh?
Uh-oh, something's wrong. Did I make a mistake...!?
"...Huh?"
Although she was clearly surprised, Monou-san burst out laughing after a moment.
"Fufufu. What do you mean by that? Why does it sound perverted?"
She grinned, looking happy.
The work mask she was wearing had been removed.
Ah, I see.
I understand now.
Monou-san may be strict and often referred to as the "Queen," but that doesn't mean she doesn't like to joke around.
Besides, when she really smiles - sometimes she can be like a child.
"Sanezawa-kun, you seem very serious on the surface, but I never expected you to have such warmth and elegance on the inside."
She continued to look at me intently.
"And you even praised my breasts."
"Huh!? You, you heard that?"
"Of course I heard it. That's really... So Sanezawa-kun is still..."
Monou-san switched back to teacher mode.
Another hour passed.
We left the izakaya and walked along the street at night.
Because of the alcohol, my body felt warm and comfortable whenever a gust of wind blew by.
"Thank you for treating me. I apologize for making you spend so much."
"Don't worry about it. It's something the superiors should do."
Monou-san replied. Although her face was quite flushed, she wasn't at the point of being drunk and oblivious. I guess she could have a few more drinks. Actually, I can't handle much alcohol myself.
Speaking of which...
The two of us drank happily and were very polite.
"I'm the one who should apologize for dragging you out to drink with that old lady."
She casually made fun of herself, but I quickly shook my head to deny it.
"What are you talking about? How can the department head be called an old lady! You look beautiful... Ah... Ahahaha."
"Fufu. Thank you, Sanezawa-kun, you're so sweet."
I smiled in embarrassment, and Monou-san laughed again. Her blushing face looked truly adorable, and my heart involuntarily raced.
Perhaps due to the slight intoxication, even I felt relaxed and blissful.
Eh, this drinking session was really enjoyable.
Not only did I learn more about the unfamiliar side of Monou-san, but I also got to taste delicious dishes.
I felt motivated to go to work the next day.
"Oh, by the way, Manager Monou, where do you live? If you need a ride, let me arrange it for you."
"Hey, Sanezawa-kun."
As I was about to take a step, Monou-san spoke.
She stopped and looked at me.
I felt that she was no longer the same.
Although her face was still flushed, her gaze had become extremely serious.
However, I could sense a hint of fear in her expression.
It was as if she was about to make an important decision that would affect her life.
"Can you spare a little more time for me today?"
"Eh..."
I felt a little disappointed.
How could I respond?
It was the invitation I had always longed for.
I still wanted to have a few more drinks with Monou-san.
"Sure, I'll spend as much time as you want today, let's have fun together."
Ting.
The sound of running water came from the bathtub. It was somewhat muffled by the frosted glass, but the pounding of my heart was much stronger than the sound of the water.
I had finished bathing and was now sitting on the bed, wrapped in a towel.
From my childhood until now, this was the first time I had come to this place. However, I was surprised that the room was so elegant and clean, just like my impression of a typical resting place.
But... There was a light control panel at the head of the bed.
And under the pillow there was even a square box that looked like a rice seasoning packet.
With these things present, it was clear that this hotel was indeed "that place."
It had been about an hour since we left the izakaya.
Right now we are in the love hotel.
"Huh?"
No, wait a minute.
What is this?
What is happening in this situation?
How did it suddenly escalate to this point? What exactly happened?
At first I just wanted to accept her invitation to go to a second bar for more drinks after leaving the first one... But who would have thought that we would end up in a love hotel? While my mind was still in a state of confusion, Monou-san suddenly said to me, "Would you like to take a bath first?" and I followed her... and now Monou-san is still taking a bath.
That's not right, is it?
I don't understand anything.
What should I do in this situation?
To be honest... Next, perhaps... I will have to do this.
Even if I accept this sudden invitation, would it be okay?
Monou-san is actively seeking a physical relationship with me...
"--"
I really can't handle this. I'm so tense that I feel like throwing up. My stomach hurts so much.
I have been sober for a while.
I never expected her to be so direct.
Are all adults like that?
I said I'm inexperienced. No, everything is the opposite of what I imagined. Looking at Monou-san's expression, could it be that she finds pleasure in helping an inexperienced guy like me have a physical relationship?
Eh, but... Is she really that casual? Shouldn't there be an order to this? Huh? But I heard that only young students confess their feelings so openly, right? It's said that after adults have this kind of physical relationship, they slowly move on to a romantic relationship. I wonder if that's true.
Stuck in my thoughts.
The sound of the door opening echoes.
My head is throbbing as I keep thinking about these things. Only now do I instinctively lift my head.
Holding my breath, I concentrate.
"I've kept you waiting a long time."
Monou-san steps out - wearing a robe.
The exquisite curves of her body are revealed before me. Even under normal circumstances, her beautiful figure is still visible despite being covered by a layer of clothing. Now that she's right in front of me, she's truly seductive to the point of being deadly.
It looks like she just washed her body, because her hair is still dry. Speaking of which, since we're in this place, there's no need to wash our hair. When I think about it, I feel embarrassed because I used a lot of shampoo.
Monou-san's face and skin seem to be slightly flushed.
I wonder if it's because of the alcohol or because I just took a bath?
Or... is it because we are both feeling tense and excited?
Through my intuition I can also feel it.
Now this woman wants me to get on the bed with her...
"...Sanezawa-kun."
One step, two steps, three steps.
Monou-san slowly approaches me.
My heart starts beating fast and my mind can't think straight.
I dare not look at her directly, so I bow my head.
"This... This seems a bit..."
At a time like this, uttering such useless words, I'm no longer a man. It's true that I'm not like a man at all. It makes sense when I say that I'm thinking about their feelings... But in reality, I'm just trying to retreat in difficult moments.
"Eh... I think it's better if we do this after our relationship becomes clearer..."
Thud.
I barely got half of the sentence out when something fell.
Until then I had only looked down, but now this thing - the robe - is right in front of me.
Instinctively, I raised my head and immediately understood the problem.
"..."
I'm speechless.
Although the room is a bit dim, I can see everything clearly at such a close distance.
Inside the bathrobe is a naked body.
She has only black underwear to cover that area.
She's wearing nothing on the upper half of her body, only her hands to cover herself.
In front of me are her well-defined thighs, a generous buttocks, a small and firm waist, and a captivatingly full bosom. Even though she's trying to cover herself with her hands, her breasts are on the verge of being exposed.
Her female body is incredibly seductive and alluring.
"...Eh, I'm already over 30..."
Monou-san approaches me, her voice filled with tension and worry.
A fragile female body is right in front of my eyes
"If... Sanezawa-kun agrees to give his first time to an older woman like me."
She says, hugging me tightly and pushing me onto the bed.
"So you... come to bed with me."
Her words sound like an entreaty and a prayer.
Her voice is soft and sweet, echoing in my ears.
Her scent fills my nostrils.
My whole body feels the softness of her flesh.
In this moment - I've lost my reason.
I pull her closer and embrace her voluptuous body.
...Even though I'm acting "irrationally", I suddenly realize that sometimes it's necessary to maintain one's own rationality when it comes to actually doing it.
After all, I have no experience.
I no longer have the strength to trust my instincts and try.
I use my brain as much as I can. Work on the Internet, AV, stories from friends... I desperately search for information in my memories, trying to prepare myself for the challenge ahead.
Yet...
Every time I touch her, I hear soft and excited breaths echoing in my ears, making it impossible for me to maintain my rationality. She seems to lack confidence in herself, but as soon as our flesh touches, I feel the irresistible allure of her body. For someone as inexperienced as me, it's truly overwhelming.
"Is it really okay?"
On the bed?
I ask, still able to shield her entire body.
I remember reading an article earlier that said, "A man who asks too many questions during intercourse is simply useless," but because I'm so worried, I have to ask her opinion anyway.
...
She nods.
Monou-san nods slightly.
In the face of her overwhelming allure, my instincts and desires skyrocket.
But.
With what little rationality I have left, I reach for the pillow.
In a love hotel, contraceptives are always kept near the bed.
Even if feelings between a man and a woman develop gradually, I cannot be complacent. No matter how intense the feelings are, I cannot lose my rationality.
I try to remember the "way to put on a condom" that I learned earlier, but right no.
She blocks the hand I just reached out.
"You don't have to wear it."
And then Monou-san says this,
"...Huh?"
"I told you, you don't have to wear it, just put it in."
"Monou-san, what are you saying... How can I do such a thing..."
How could I do that?
If a man and a woman are having sex, but they don't intend to get married, and there's no clear plan to start a family, it's best to use a condom.
If a man only indulges in immediate pleasure and cannot follow the bare minimum rules, then he is not worthy to be called a man. Such actions are highly irresponsible and can be considered the common enemy of all women. Such a person does not deserve to be in bed with a woman.
But... in the present moment.
"Put him in. I'm begging you...!"
She is begging me, using her role as a woman.
Begging me, pleading with me, longing for me.
In such close proximity, our naked bodies entwine...
"No, it's not right. If by chance..."
"It's okay."
While my mind is in a state of confusion and constant refusal, she continues to beg me relentlessly.
I feel the way she is begging - it doesn't seem natural.
Why?
Why does she want to go so far?
"Eh."
I'm so perplexed that I can't move at all - right at that moment she starts to come closer.
She puts her hand on my stomach, touching my "d*ick".
Then she grips it tightly with her delicate fingers.
"Wait... wait a moment... Monou-san, you can't force it like that..."
Even though I quickly pulled back my waist, it was still trapped and I couldn't move of my own will.
She wanted to make love, but things didn't go smoothly at all. I don't know how many times my 'weapon' touched the 'entrance' again, and then we continued to rub against each other like that, and not long after...
"...Ah."
"Huh...?"
The first scene ended quickly.
Embarrassment filled the room.
"...I, I'm really sorry."
"...I should be the one apologizing to you."
We sat next to each other on the bed and apologized to each other.
But even that conversation ended quickly.
I felt so ashamed that I thought I would die.
There was really no hope.
Even though I still felt pleasure, I couldn't imagine that my "weapon" would suddenly go limp. I couldn't control myself, sigh, what can I say... Dealing with this new inconvenience is difficult because I've already gone through those stages.
"..."
Anyway.
I still felt uncomfortable... but this feeling had nothing to do with my lack of experience.
Then why?
Why did Monou-san want to force me like this?
"Sanezawa-kun."
Sitting next to me, Monou-san spoke.
Her beautiful expression was gone and her voice became serious.
"I want to be direct and clear from now on. It's not good to keep hiding from you."
Hide from me?
What does she have to hide from me?
"I... have no intention of dating anyone."
Monou-san said.
Her tone was extremely cold.
"I am perfectly happy with my current lifestyle. The idea of marrying someone and living together for the rest of my life is something I have never considered.
Very calmly.
She continued to speak, as if she was assigning tasks:
"I have no intention of marrying anyone, nor do I want to look for a partner."
"But..."
Monou-san continued:
"I still want... to have a child with the role of being a woman."
Immediately, I couldn't think of anything else.
But deep inside, I understood everything.
The questions I had today gradually had their answers.
Why did she invite me for a drink? Why did I ask about her situation? Why did she deliberately bring me to this hotel? Why does she insist on not using contraception?
All these questions had a simple answer.
I already knew what answer she was expecting from me.
"So, Sanezawa-kun."
Monou-san said.
"From now on... we have no connection. You and I just need to have a child, can you agree to that?"
See you next time broh.....
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